It's so hard to write with muddy pants.
Anyway, the following is a story that a friend of mine wrote in high school, along with the teacher's reaction to the story, and some illustrations of the story by me. Because, let's face it: what's funnier than an anthropomorphic sperm? Not too fuckin' much.
The writer of the story and the teacher grading the story will remain anonymous, but let the author know what you think of his high school flight of fancy. Did you ever write some hilarious stuff in school? Was it also about jizz?
Thanks to everyone for continuing to "follow" me despite my inability to be a very active blogger of late. You are all awesome.
Here we go....
Let me know what you think about Sammy and his adventure.
Love.
Posts
27 comments:
And the randomness continues. Never saw this one coming Charles but loved it all the same. Your "oh, f*ck yeah" picture is awesome.
On another note, you have a "Bloody Brilliant Blog Award" over at my site from Friday.
Have a great week, The Empress
http://rantersbox.blogspot.com
I love that the reviewer is suggesting the writer do more research on the topic. As if the writer's goal is to become a sexologist or maybe a shrink for adventurous sperm.
SD
http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/
hahaha! that is so ballsy (ew. lame pun definitely not intended). I wish I would've been more outgoing with my writing in high school.
nonetheless, AWESOME :)
I read this in a silent library. That is, silent until I started laughing...and laughing...and laughing. The pictures just made the story better.
My high school teacher would have had a heart attack and died after reading this.
As for me? I found it very surprising and funny. I had no idea sperm were such complex beings.
I also think that the teacher clearly missed the point of creative writing since she's telling the writer that he's missed some facts. I thought the point of creative writing was that you didn't have to stick to fact. You can make up whatever you want.
And last...well, I'm still laughing about the anti-stick suit.
As a "recovering" middle school English teacher, I have to say that I would have been ecstatic if one of my students correctly used a semi-colon, regardless of his or her story topic. Way to go!
<a href="http://www.dinnerwithkir.blogspot.com>Dinner With Kir</a>
Taking the Personal Adjustment Class? Now that's funny! I loved the whole thing, especially the pics. You may need a "Personal Adjustment Class", though. LOL
I soooo needed some amusement today, and you provided it! What a hoot! Gonna share this with a few friends who will love the laugh!!
It was funny and innovative, but I think the author could've worked on his writing style, technique, and prose. The reviewer was right in that some parts were slightly confusing and would need more than 2 brain cells working to be discernible. Otherwise funny and totally out-of-the-box thinking.
this kind of reminded me of a story i wrote once in high school. it was for art class, we had to write a story about a picture, and i had a bowl of fruit. so i wrote about a murderous apple. it was really violent and gory iirc. he only killed fruit, though.
People are discussing technique and prose? Seriously? This is some funny shit. Period. The end.
Muddy pants or not, you always produce the goods.Hilarious stuff, your pal is funny and orignal. Does he have a blog?
I think we need the feminist perspective on this topic as well! How about "The Conception: Emma the Egg Gets a Visitor?"
Your friend has some balls on him. Big balls. Pun not intended.
Now that's just funny. And I loved the comments at the end.... Sadly, writing of this genuius level of creativity would most likely get him kicked out of school now a days. -J
lol...
i never read such a story before..
congrats to ur frend that he has got awesome dirty imagination
:))
http://irrefutable-existence.blogspot.com/
This is damned good quality for a high schooler. I approve heartily! :)
...My God... This is quite possibly the bet work of literary genius I've ever read. And yes that's bet, not best. My keys aren't working right and there is no time to mouse up there. It's no longer supposed to be best it's meant to be bet. As in I would bet a full pay check that this story will make someone famous. The writer is both a scholar and a gentleman. Let him know that any ninja would be honored to get a lesson from him! As to subject, he is obviously enlightened enough to determine that for himself.
Ninja stuff:
WhatWouldNinjaDo
Ha! I think that at the high school I went to someone would have gotten a "0" for writing this due to it's being "inappropriate".
Yes, and just this week my very own hometown (Maquoketa, IA) made national news for making a kid turn his "I heart Lady GayGay" t-shirt inside-out. (Perez Hilton, evidently ALSO was NOT impressed with Maq-town.)
Gotta love small town Iowa.
That aside, I personally enjoyed Sammy's travel story. :)
Why would I even need to say anything!!! You are sick sick sick sick sick!! LMBO!!! This was too funny!!
Geez what's going on with that teacher?? Sounds like somebody had to critique it when they didn't want to encourage you too much (seeing you had too many balls in the first place to even submit this in HIGH SCHOOL!! WOW!), yet (s)he liked the story. Probably sitting there reading this thinking "this kid is bonkers!!"
My favorite parts were the anti-stick suit and "It's my destiny!" That was HILARIOUS!!! Great job!!! HA!
Good to know there are still teachers in the world that will still reward creativity. If I'm reading the markup at the top of the page correctly, your friend received 20/20. 20/20 for an epic tale of The Little Sperm That Could. The onslaught of standardized testing has taken out so much of our English curriculum...good to know there's still room for Sperm Odysseys.
When I was in grade four, I used to write stories about animals having babies that died. Over and over. My teacher actually phoned my mother to ask her if there was something going on at home that would make me write such awful, sad stories.
There probably was, but mostly I just really wanted a baby. I probably killed them off because people kept telling me that as a nine-year old, I wasn't allowed to have one.
Certainly gets an A from me! "It's so warm." My favorite line.
Somehow it does not surprise me that this was written by a friend of YOURS. I imagined being an English teacher reading boring story after boring story and then coming across this one....would have made my day (perhaps my career).
Great artwork too ;)
Pure genius, I say. The only thing I noticed was that the ending was short and could use some improvement. It felt like the whole story was continually building up to some catastrophic event, and the event just wasn't glorified and expounded upon as it should've been, given the anticipation. But still, pure genius. The pictures and captions added a lot to the humor.
www.iwishihadacoolurl.blogspot.com
lol,Sammy is such a nerd planning and researching that which ought to be instinctive on his part! I wonder, did his brothers fail because of poor instincts or poor planning and research? Thank you for sharing Sammy's story with us and the illustrations are great, loved them!!!
Most people who claim to be open to and nurturers of creativity really aren't, hence we get comments in a Creative Writing class about researching facts...I wonder though of the story's conception(all pun intended). I do hope that the brain did not go to waste and on a final note what is a personal adjustment class?
KATG!
Fuck yeah, suck yeah!
I liked the story. It was strange.
- jt
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